Aug. 30, 2007

Stony Brook, N.Y. - Working with one's spouse can be a challenging arrangement at times. But having a solid friendship based on trust--and volleyball--before saying "I do" is what continues to keep things running smoothly for Kevin Deslauriers and his wife, Deb Matejka-DesLauriers.

At 38, Matejka-DesLauriers is entering her eighth season as head coach of the women's volleyball program at Stony Brook University, and serving as her assistant since she took over the program in May 2000 has been her 37-year-old husband.

They started dating about a year after joining the Stony Brook program and were married in June 2003. They have two sons together, Jake, 2, and Aiden, 8 months, while DesLauriers also has an 8-year-old daughter, Brittany, from a previous marriage.

Though it is often a balancing act as they juggle their personal lives, children and volleyball, the latter from the sidelines and on the court, things are still going smoothly for the couple, who have lived in Eastport for almost three years.

Eight seasons at Stony Brook

Under their lead, the Stony Brook Seawolves have reached the America East Championships five times, finishing as a runner-up twice. Those are impressive statistics for a program that was just testing the Division I waters for the first time when the couple took over the bench.

"It's gone from ... a team that was a first-year Division I and not in a conference, to the second year when we were in a conference and were very green to making the America East Championships," Matejka-DesLauriers said. "It's been a lot of hard work and dedication."

In 2006, the Seawolves lost in the semifinals of the America East Championships, posting a 13-17 overall record and a 6-6 conference mark.

In addition to coaching at the collegiate level, DesLauriers runs The Island Volleyball Academy.

Working together

Not surprisingly, it was volleyball that brought the couple together. They were first introduced during the National Coaching Convention held in Springfield, Massachusetts, in late 1995, though it would take another five years before they would cross paths again.

In February 2000, DesLauriers took over as the interim head coach of the women's volleyball program at Stony Brook and, that May, the university gave Matejka-DesLauriers the permanent position. She then decided to keep DesLauriers on her bench. "I kept Kevin on as my assistant because I knew his ability and what type of player he was," Matejka-DesLauriers said.

About a year later, the two started dating and were married in 2003.

"It's working out great," Matejka-DesLauriers said of being married and working together. "As long as we balance everything with work, social and family time, it works out fine."

DesLauriers joked, "Volleyball is the easy part."

Their friendship was the kindling that helped fuel the fire of a romantic relationship, and the key that makes it all work.

"It makes it easier to trust," DesLauriers explained. "In our field, a lot of the assistants are younger and up-and-coming. If you have someone you trust, you are going to lose them in a few years. You need someone that you can work closely with and trust they are going to do their job."

The couple recently hired an au pair, who is expected to help when they must attend practices and competitions, or take trips to recruit new players.

Before Stony Brook

After finishing her collegiate playing career at Providence College in 1991, Matejka-DesLauriers headed to Syracuse University for graduate school, where she served as an assistant coach for three seasons while earning her master's degree in computer graphics.

She then accepted her first head-coaching job, back at her alma mater, becoming the youngest head coach in the country at the time at the ripe old age of 24. She spent three years with the Friars and led her team to a fourth-place finish at the Big East Tournament in 1994.

In 1997, she then took a step away from coaching, working for ESPN as an event planner for the X-Games, before eventually returning to the bench. "I missed the job satisfaction I got from coaching," Matejka-DesLauriers said. "It doesn't matter how much you make, it's the passion for what you do."

"You have to work, so you might as well enjoy what you are doing," her husband added. "Every year, you have a new group of kids and new group of challenges."

After graduating from Southampton College, DesLauriers spent seven years coaching at the school, six as the head coach of the women's team and seven years as an assistant coach with the men's program. The women's team was in last place when he took over the program, but DesLauriers managed to turn things around. The squad went 37-29 during his final two seasons and reached the top-eight in regional rankings in 1999. The men's program won three Division II championships while DesLauriers was a member of the staff.

During his senior year at Southampton, DesLauriers completed an internship at the Brookhaven National Laboratory. Though he excelled in his field of study, computer mathematics, working behind a desk for eight hours a day was not a life he could envision for himself. "It's much more fun to be active," he added.

College days

A Wantagh native, Matejka-DesLauriers came late to the world of volleyball. She did not join the volleyball team at Wantagh High School until she was 16 and, at first blush, she hated it.

"I started playing because the team was always good and people were saying I should join," she said. "I was always a basketball player before that. I went to camp at Hofstra after I first started playing and I hated it. I told my parents `I can't stand this game.'"

Things changed for Matejka-DesLauriers shortly thereafter when she attended another camp at the World Volleyball Training Center in Huguenot, New York. It was there that she met Tatsuya Adachi, a highly regarded former professional Japanese volleyball player and international coach, and it was his philosophies that changed her attitude toward the game, a sport that was to become a huge part of her life.

A four-time All-Big East selection and four-time Big East All Tournament team honoree, Matejka-DesLauriers still owns the single-season hitting percentage record of .340 at Providence College. She was a two-year captain and was named Big East Rookie of the Year in 1987. She also earned regional All-American honors in 1990 and 1991, and was nominated for the Big East Athlete of the Decade.

In college and during her early days after school, Matejka-DesLauriers was an outside/middle. But as she gets older, and her seven knee surgeries and scopes begin catching up with her, she plays more libero, a defensive position.

Originally from Moose Lake, Minnesota, DesLauriers attended St. Cloud State in Minnesota with his twin sister, Gigi, who was playing volleyball on a scholarship at the school. He was a walk-on for the football team and began playing club volleyball at night, after his sister encouraged him to do so.

It was a push that would change his life forever. He excelled at his newly found talent and then transferred after his sophomore year to Southampton College. DesLauriers, who during the height of his career had a 40-inch vertical, was recruited as an outside hitter by the Colonials. Upon arriving, he was shifted to setter because the team had a hole at that position.

It was in his new locale that DesLauriers picked up his nickname, "Sotta," a tribute to his home some 1,500 miles away.

While playing at Southampton, he was the team captain and the school's all-time assist leader, with more than 4,800.

The future

When asked how long they will continue playing volleyball now that their family has grown, they both offer the same answer: for as long as possible.

"As long as it doesn't hurt the family," Matejka-DesLauriers said. "We're going to do it in an environment where the kids are involved, too. If we're playing with friends, our kids will play with their kids. I don't want it to be a stress on the family."

While the number of tournaments the couple plays has dramatically been reduced, the duo still competes in an organized co-ed league in Riverhead and plays in other local and regional tournaments. In addition, both were members of the open teams for the Empire State Games. The men's team brought home the gold while the women's squad went 2-3.

As expected, age, wear and tear, and two pregnancies for Matejka-DesLauriers have taken their toll, though the couple's passion for the game continues to push them through the aches and pains.

DesLauriers has had two anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) surgeries while his wife has had a total of seven procedures on her knees, including ACL surgery. The two joked about how prior to their wedding, they were unsure if they would be able to kneel during the church service because of their knee problems.

"We'll play as long as our body parts don't start falling off," Matejka-DesLauriers said with a laugh. "We don't think about being injured, or the way our bodies hurt, until we get up the next morning!"